Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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