it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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