Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
