i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm sobbing to NWA
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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