Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
