what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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