i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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