I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
