i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
