Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
