too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
PANTIES FOUND
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