im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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