oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize