What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
