Your dad touched me again.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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