I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
