Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
