my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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