4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
