i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
