mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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