im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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