My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
