am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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