I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
