Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
