I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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