Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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