she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
