If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
