you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
