and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
