Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
