i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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