Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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