I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
too bad you live with your parents still
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
