i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
