he thought i was a dude.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
