if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
