I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
