Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
