i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
