All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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