hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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