Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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