Don't you send me to vm
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Randomize
