I've blown a few things in my day
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
