eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
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