I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
