just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
