You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
