ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
