He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
