OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
