ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
