forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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