You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
