We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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