I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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