Rock
Scissors
Fuck
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize