Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
