This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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