I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
