he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
