if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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