Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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