I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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