So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
