She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
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